Should I bother to keep blogging here?

I have really just been using this blog to backup my blogs from my gamespot profile since that is where I originally started blogging. I have stopped moving them over here for the past few months though because it didn't seem worth the effort really.

I don't think really anyone reads my blog here? I never see comments on them. Maybe you all are just shy? lol. I seem to have followers somehow though haha. If you think it's worth the effort for me to continue posting my blogs here let me know.

It's time for me to admit that I am an addict...

That's right. I have an addiction. I have been struggling with this for years. I first became obsessed with this stimulant as a child. All it took was one try and then I was hooked for life. This would be a tragic tale if my addiction were something really bad. Luckily I am just addicted to the Civilization series.

My Addiction: From Its Birth to Its Present Condition

I think I played my first Civilization game when I was like 10 years old. I tried it at my uncle's house and really enjoyed it. A little while later I got Civilization 2 (PC) for Christmas I believe. A few year later I got Civilization 3. A couple weeks ago I got Civilization Revolution on DS.Civilization 2 and 3 are some of the most replayable games ever made. I have probably played each for like 100s of hours. The game map and neighboring civilizations you encounter spawn randomly every game. The game never plays the same way twice.

They are turn-based strategy games where you control and grow your civilization from their primitive state to a modern age where you can toss nukes at your neighbors.You build citiies, roads, irrigation, and mines. You can engage in diplomacy with your neighbore and make peace treaties and alliances. You can of course build tons of different types of military units to conquer the world which is full of jerkface asshatical computer-controlled neighbors. Or you can try to win the game by other means like cultural domination or being the first to reach the moon. The amount of stuff you can do in these games is mind boggling.

These 2 games are also super addictive. If you intend to play for 30 minutes, you will glance up at the clock a bit later and notice 3 hours have passed and you still won't want to stop playing lol. A game of civilization 3 typically takes me abou 20 hours to complete. After I finish a game of Civilization 3 I don't want to play it for a little bit. If I wait a few weeks and start a game again it's just as addicting and feels as fresh as before. Not many games can do that. I have been playing a game of Civilization 3 every month or so for probably at least 5 years. Before that I played Civilization 2 as much or more (since I had more free time).

This week my addiction worsened. I played my copy of Civilization Revolution on DS for the first time.

Hearing about this game being released on a handheld video game system made me crap myself with glee when I first heard about it. Knowing that Civilization Revolution DS was waiting for me was one of the main reasons why I spent 130 bucks on a DS Lite this past winter. Finally this month I bought a copy of the game for around 15 bucks and played it for the first time this week.

Did I like it? Well the first time I turned it on I played it for 3 hours straight. That night I played it for a few mor hours. That morning I played it for 2 hours. The cycle continued all week.

This is a great portable strategy game. It is still turn-based like its PC brothers, but it has been simplified a bit. I was a tad worried it would feel to basic after the more complex PC versions, but was happy to discover there was no such problem. Everything that makes Civilization great is still in the DS version. The game is still very deep and has lots of ways for you to play the game. You can win by military force, cultural achievements, and by a space race (technological achievements) just like the PC games. Most of the stuff from the PC versions is still in this game, but things work a bit differently. For example in this game roads are built in the ciy management screen where you can buy roads to connect specific cities to each other. It means connecting your cities with roads is less of a hassle than on Civ 2 and 3. There are tons more examples of stuff like this where mechanics from the PC games are altered a bit to be more streamlined for the portable version.Also, The controls in this game work surpisingly well. You can decide to use the stylus a lot or a little based on your preference. I like using the dpad and buttons most of the time though. The game feels different enough from the PC versions that it doesn't feel like a half-assed copy of the computer versions. You can tell a lot of thought went into this portable version to make it a unique Civilization experience.

This game is just as addicting as Civilization 2 and 3. Each game seems to take about 5 or 6 hours in Civilization Revolution. That is a lot shorter than Civilization 3's 20 hour games and you would think it would be better for my addiction since 6 hours is much smaller an amount of time than 20. You thought wrong though. When I finish a 20 hour Civilization 3 game I want to take a break for awhile before I start a new one. After playing with tanks, bombers and nukes for the last hours of the game it feels too annoying to go back to warriors, archers, and legions for awhile. However, since Civilzation Revolution's games only last 6 hours that feeling of needing a break from the game never happens for me. Once I finish a game, a few hours later I have no problem starting a brand new game and getting addicted.

The game also has online multiplayer. I tried finding players for it, but had no luck. I don't care too much though since I never buy these games for the multiplayer.

My addiction to this portable Civilization game has had a positive effect though. It has actually helped me fix my sleep schedule lol. I have a problem normally of waking up multiple times and going back to sleep and then sleeping for far too long. Since I got this game though when I wake up I'd rather play my DS and this game than go back to sleep lol. So thank you Sid Meier for fixing my sleep schedule.

I realize that I will never escape my Civilization addiction. It's time for me to get some help. Or maybe I should get Civilization Revolution on PS3...

When it comes to replayability, Timesplitters: Future Perfect is perfect.

I originally wrote this for my blog on Destructoid.com. They asked us to blog about a game that we found extremely replayable, a game that kept us coming back to it a crapload of times.

Hmm. When I first heard the Monthly Musing topic a few games I routinely play over and over again flashed through my gamer mind. Civilization 3 (PC), Worms Armageddon (PC), Rez (PS2), Sniper Elite (PS2), Demon's Souls (PS3), and many other games I replay a ton were considered for this blog by the lazyhoboguy who is currently writing it. I realized though that one game I own is the king, the queen, and the undisputed top monkey of replayability. The game of which I speak is:



Halo… No, jk it's Timesplitters: Future Perfect.



Why do I love this game so much? Why have I played this game for: 4 days 14 hours 8 mins 27 secs? Well, actually I have played it for about 3 days longer that. My first profile got corrupted when I stupidly shut down my game on a saving screen. I was actually sort of happy I had to start over since I liked the game so much lol. But I am getting distracted. I need to get my ass and its short attention span back on track. Why the hell do I have such a boner for this game you want to know?

Some Funny Fucks Made This Game

Well, unlike Halo, Call of Duty, Ghost Recon, and all the other serious shooters out there Timesplitters: Future Perfect has a great sense of humor and never takes itself seriously. It still has great First Person Shooter gameplay with all the violence, beheadings, and blood spraying everywhere you could want, but It manages to make you crack up while doing so.



For example: The game has monkeys! Lots of them. You can shoot monkeys in the game a lot. There is a ninja monkey. There is a robot monkey. There is a zombie monkey. You get to shoot them, in the face even, if you are feeling particularly cruel. If you still are not interested in this game then you have no soul. That halo monkey image above was made by the developers themselves to tease Timesplitters 4. But oh man don't get me started on that since it looks like it will never be coming out now *Weeps in Corner*.

The game also has like 100 characters to choose from for multiplayer. They each have a unique phrase they will say when you pick them. They each have a little backstory you can read in the main menu too. There are zombies, a snowman, a duck, a dinosaur, a grizzly bear, a giant sock puppet, a handful of demented clowns, a gingerbread man, various robots, and tons of other crazy characters to choose from.

Another reason I have a hard on for this game is that the game's color palette isn't completely brown and grey. The developers of Timesplitters: Future Perfect had this nutty idea to actually make their levels and characters colorful. So many shooters like to make all their levels look like someone just smeared shit all over everything and blocked out all color. Not Timesplitters. Although a shit joke wouldn't be out of place in the Timesplitters series lol.

One more reason I am stimulated by Timesplitters : Future Perfect. The game runs really smoothly. As in, the frame rate is constantly steady and animations look awesome for this reason. The game doesn't turn into a slideshow when the action on screen picks up like so many other shooters.

Another thing about this game that makes my body all excite (Regie + Borat joke if you are confused) is the fact that this game has creative and fun to use weapons. There are machines guns, pistols, and shotguns of course, but there are also tons of less generic weapons. There is a flare gun which shoots a flare. Shocking right, but it spirals out of the gun unpredictably and is hard to hit people with, but if you do it's a one hit kill. You can also duel yield these. They are sort of like the games rocket launcher and are incredibly fun to use. Another neat weapon in the game is called the injector. If you shoot someone enough with it your opponent will start swelling up and their body will expand before your eyes until their gooey innards explode out through them and blood splatters all over the walls and ceiling. The nasty gory explosion can kill you if you stand in it too lol. Oh yea you can also just grab a brick and throw it at someone's face, or you can pick up a baseball bat and just start wailing on people. It is soooo satisfying.

I haven't even really talked about the singleplayer or multiplayer yet. There is just too much awesomely awesome awesomeness to talk about when it comes to Timesplitters: Future Perfect ! Well the single player is humorous and fun and it has you jumping through tons of different time periods, hence the name of the game. This is great for the gameplay because it means you are constantly tossed into radically different environments, using completely different weapons, and fighting totally different enemies. The single player campaign can also be played with split screen co-op. The single player is quite fun, but it is not the highlight of the game.

Sexy Multiplayer Is Sexy

Now for the multiplayer. Oh how I love this game's multiplayer. It is like Goldeneye 007/Perfect Dark and modern shooters had a super awesome cool baby that likes beating the crap out of monkeys.


Deal with it monkeys.

The Timesplitters series is known for its great multiplayer and it's worth buying Timesplitters: Future Perfect for it alone. The multiplayer is super fast paced. Your character moves fast, you instantly respawn and are back in the action. There is no silly irritating 15 second respawn timer to punish you for dying. You immediately are returned into the game and are free to seek out revenge on the jerk who previously terminated your video game life.

The multiplayer is great too because it is insanely customizable. You can make your own weapon sets. You can put in powerups. You can turn on character abilities if you like so each character has special qualities. The multiplayer has tons of game modes as well. Deathmatch is the most fun in my opinon, but they have many more to choose from. Some of the more creative ones are Shrink, Virus, and Monkey Assistant. In shrink your actual character size is determined by how well you are currently doing. If you are in first place your character is full size. If you are in last place you are a teeny tiny midget that is very hard to hit. It is pretty funny. In Virus one person starts off infected and tries to just touch other people to infect them too. The last person in the game who isn't infected wins. It is pretty terrifying when a horde of infected foes is running at you. Monkey Assistant is sort of like Shrink in that it aids struggling players. In this mode though it lets the person in last place gain an entourage of violent homicidal monkeys who lash out any one who dares to come near their new buddy.

The game also had an online mode. Which I heard was amazing. Unfortunately this game was published by the evil company Electronic Arts who like to pull down online servers for games after 2 days.



The servers were shutdown in 2007, just 2 years after the game came out. Luckily, the game also has bots for offline and split screen multiplayer and they are very customizable as well. I have spent many hours just playing against the bots. All hope for playing the game online was not lost once Electronic Asshats (EA) shut down the game's online servers though, since Free Radical included a LAN mode. Through free LAN tunneling programs like Xlink Kai which you run on your PC, you can still play this game online. I do so about once a week with other people from: http://www.ps2onlinegaming.com

Other Awesomeness Found In The Game

Errrmm, so what I am forgetting. Oh yea, is multiplayer not your thing? Well included in the game are tons of challenges and an arcade league mode. If you are into game types where you try to best your high score, you will love this. You get rewarded with trophies which unlock new characters, cheats, and other goodies for you by doing this. That is just icing on the fucking awesome cake since these modes are ridiculously fun by themselves. You can race cats for example. You can fight a never ending horde of undead monkeys. You can break all the plates and windows in a Chinese restaurant. They pretty much came up with everything.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG. This blog is getting soo long. I can't help it though. There is too much about this game that's awesome and the gospel of Timesplitting must be preached to you gamers! Here is a nice relaxing picture of a to give you a break from my blog.



Don't Give Me That Look! I Didn't Make That Image!

Alright Bert, calm the fuck down. No need to slaughter me and feast on my brain like you did to Ernie last night. I will get back to Timesplitters talk.

Ok, So before Bert unleashes his puppet rage at me I will talk about the Mapmaker in Timesplitters: Future Perfect. It is a little awesome thing in the game that lets you design your own multiplayer maps. You can also create your own story levels. Like, you can create your own freaking game basically. The tools allowed in this Mapmaker are somewhat basic, but you can create really crazy cool stuff with it. People like this level creator so much that they are still messing around with it and coming up with new cool junk with it. A forum is setup for advocates of this feature of the game. Go here if you are interested in learning how to get the most out of the Mapmaker feature of the game and want to try out other people's creations: http://s7.zetaboards.com/Rec_Room/forum/9680/

I have made a few multiplayer maps and story levels myself. If my whoring out of them didn't make you disgusted you can check them out here: http://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy#g/c/E3655BA31343C558

I am sure I am still leaving out some stuff about how ridiculously amazing and replayable this game is, but this blog has to come to end sometime and that time is now. I may have posted this in an old blog before but I cannot remember. Anyways, I shall leave you with this video of me turning a monkey into a terrorist in Timesplitters: Future Perfect. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALLaknDeOYk

TLDR Version



Buy Timesplitters: Future Perfect and play it or Bert is going to find you, kill you, and feast on the tasty brains inside your skull. Then he is going to have a blood orgy with his sick Sesame Street pals. You don't want that to happen do you? Well, play the game then god dammit.

My Gaming Backlog

I just updated my game collection list for the first time in months. I am nearing 100 ps2 games yay!

http://lazyhoboguy.webs.com/

For the first time I ever I decided to go through my games and list my backlog.

Here are games I own but have never even played once. I did not include games I started for a level and never went back too, so really this backlog could be 2 times as big if I included that. It is bad enough that I own this many games that I have never even really touched once. Some of these games are new purchases in the last few months, but many have been sitting in my collection for years.

My Shameful Backlog. These poor forgotten games...

Genesis (Do Not Own System Yet)
Dragon Ball Z

Dreamcast
Virtua Tennis

Game Boy
Kirby's Pinball Land

GBA
Iridion II

Nintendo Entertainment System
Bases Loaded 2: Second Season
Captain Skyhawk
Dragon Warrior
Ghost 'n Goblins
John Elway's Quarterback
Legends of the Diamond
Super Spike V'Ball
SUper Sprint
The Blues Brothers
The Legend of Zelda
Top Player Tennis
Zelda II: The Adventure of LInk

SNES
Chuck Rock
Desert STrike
NBA Hang Time
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario World
T2: The Arcade Game
Tecom Super Bowl
TNN Bass Tournament of Champions

N64
Mario Golf
Pokemon Snap
Star Fox 64
Star Wars Episode 1: Racer

Gamecube
Lugi's Mansion
Star Wars: Rogue Leader

PS2
Alien Hominid
Ape Escape 3
Brothers in Arms Road to Hill 30
Crash 'N' Burn
Crash Tag Team Racing
Dead to Rights
Deus Ex: The Conspiracy
Half-Life
Intellivision Lives!
Jak 3
Manhunt 2
Max Payne
Metal Gear Solid: The Essential Collection (MGS2 and MGS3)
NASCAR Thunder 2004
Onimusha 2: Samurai's Destiny
Psi-Ops The Mindgate Conspiracy
Rogue Trooper
Second Sight
Shinobi
Sky Odyssey
SOCOM: U.S. Navy Seals: Combined Assault
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
SSX
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Lockdown
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4
Twisted Metal Black
Viewtiful Joe 2

PS3
Tekken 6

Xbox 1
Farcry Instincts Evolution
Mechassault
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
Pocket Bike Racer
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay

Some Other News

I havent written a blog about my gaming shenanigans in awhile and I have played too many games to write in depth about them all. So, I will just briefly mention some of the games and stuff I have played.

Bought a new handheld gaming system

You guys are going to be so jealous!!! I just bought Nintendo's new cutting edge handheld system!!! No not the 3ds you silly farts, I got a DS lite finally with Mario Kart DS. I think the DS came out in 2004 right? Meh I am only 7 years behind with handhelds. I plan to get a 3DS in 2018 then haha.

I am really enjoying Mario Kart DS. It ads in the drifting and drifting boosts from Mario Kart: Double Dash on Gamecube and it still managed to control very well. The online mode is kind of cool too, but I wish you could race with more than 4 people online. Having Mario Kart on a handheld is really awesome.

Although I should say that I ran into something I really really hate in Mario Kart DS. In the balloon battle you start with one baloon and have to blow into your microphone to inflate your other 2 balloons. WTF. NO. I am not blowing spit over my new $130 piece of electronics like an idiotic assnut. I refuse. You can hold down the select button instead of blowing into the microphone like a mental patient, but it works slower. They actually put you at a disadvanage in that mode for not wanting to spray your saliva all over your DS...

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus Completed and Sly 2 started (Playstation 2)

Played through Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus recently and I had an absolute blast playing this game. I had not played a 3d platformer in awhile and it was quite fun to do so again. The game had great level designs and threw in stealth gameplay to change things up.

I started up Sly 2 very recently and I am a bit dissapointed with it. It is still fun, but it feels completely different than Sly Cooper 1. They threw in some open world aspects into the game that sorta bug me. Also the game feels like more of an action game and stealth game than a platformer. Seems like 60 percent of your missions now revolve around pick pocketing people or following people.

Oh and fuck you Sucker Punch for having no option to turn off the inverted camera controls. I mean just CMON. I hate it when developers force you to use either inverted or noninverted controls. How hard is it to include the option to switch the inversion? I heard the Sly Collection on the PS3 fixes this issue, so I think I will stop playing SLy 2 on PS2 and wait to continue the game on the Sly PS3 collection.

Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (PS3)

Dammit. I bought a downloadable game a couple months ago. I felt dirty after doing so. However, I could not resist buying the game for 9.99 after playing the demo. The game is just simply amazing. I put in a ton of hours into this game already. I don't see myself ever getting tired of it. I really hope they release this on a disc though, so I can have a REAL not digital copy lol.

Some games I have been playing.

Unreal Tournament 3

I am a console gamer primarily. I do not enjoy PC controls for first person shooters as they cramp up my boney long fingers. So no matter how superior PC mouse and keyboard controls may be for shooters, if they cramp my hands up I dont give a rat's possibly plague-ridden behind about them.

So as a consequence, I had never really played an unreal game. It is a series that is for PC gamers primarily and I had heard there were some decent console ports of some of the games in the series, but I never got around to trying them. My friend kept urging me to pick up this game and I finally did. I am quite happy I purchased it. The multiplayer in this game is so refreshing to me. Like the weapons are creative. There are so many nutty weapons that just make me happy when using them. It is nice to play with unrealistic weapons after playing so many realistic games with generic military guns. This game, on the other hand, has tons of awesome digital death hastening aids. There is a biorifle which shoots balls of toxic sludge. There is a rocket launcher that can shoot 3 rockets at once or shoot 3 grenades. There is a combo rocket launcher/shotgun gun. There is that cool gun that shoots a ball of energy and if you hit it with another shot it makes a huge explosion. Even the default pistol (enforcer) is freaking fun to use.

Also, this game actually has bots! The bots in the game's multiplayer arent actually brain damaged like in a lot of FPSes! I can play hours just fighting swarms of these surprisingly challenging bots! Also, the online mode of this game is just as fun. The one con for controller users like myself is that a lot of online players use keyboard and mouse setups and woop your ass because of it. You can try to find controller only matches, but there arent many. Oh well, the bot multiplayer alone in this game is worth the purchase price.

The single player is pretth meh. It is basically just a bunch of bot batches loosely strung together by some cheesy story.

This game's multiplayer just has a really fun addicting quality to it that I have not experienced in a shooter in a long time. Compared to all the realistic shooters that basically are centered around camping this game is just extremely refeshing.

There is one thing that drives me absolutely to the point of gaming nerd rage in the online mode though. You can have bots in the online mode of the game (a great feature), but the developers made no visual distinction between the names of bots and real players. So most times I have no idea if I am facing bots or real people. Like some of the bot names sound like typical psn usernames. This starts to get really annoying because if they had just put a little bot symbol or highlighted each bot name this annoyance could have been solved in like 5 minutes of development time probably.

Urban Chaos: Riot Response (PS2)

I used to play this a ton 2 or 3 years ago, but hadn't touched it since. Recently I started replaying it, and to my surprise this game still holds up and is very fun.

This was developed by Rocksteady. They developed that new batman game that everybody seems to be in love with, although I have not played it myself.

This game features a unique gameplay twist to the first person shooter genre. The game is based around your use of a riot shield. Basically, if you dont want to die very quickly, you need to hold up your shield. It can block bullets, knives, fire, etc. But you cannot shoot while you have it up and bullets knock you backwards when it hits your shield. Also, if you bash in peoples faces with it blood will get all over it and obstruct your view. The more it gets shot up too, the harder it is to see through it. You can toss some weapons over the shield like grenades and knives however.

This game is also a blast to play because its just so over the top. The enemy in the game is a bunch of crazed lunatic gang members who all wear hockey masks. They regularly shout hilarious insults and obscenities at you throughout the game. This game also has some cheesy real life newscast type of intros for the levels which is kind of cool.

One negative I must mention though, is that this game's frame rate is not the best. It is not an unplayable game because of its frame rate problems, but it is pretty noticeable that the frame rate is frequently not too smooth.

I uploaded some gameplay footage of this game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3gcWtq7hb4

Also I uploaded some footage of me just being a huge asshat towards the friendly A.I. characters in the game: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s7Np-PL0RiU&feature=related

I shall end this blog in a disgraceful spammy nature

Another long time Playstation 2 online and PS2 LAN tunneling (with Xlink Kai) user and I recently created a website called:

ps2onlinegaming.com

The purpose of this site is to make it easy for Playstation 2 online gamers to meet up and schedule some online vidya games. Also, we use the website to plan LAN tunneling matches using a program called XLink Kai (their website). Xlink Kai is a program that runs on your PC that allows you to play Playstation 2 games online basically forever since it tricks the games LAN mode into thinking other players across the internet are playing with you. So if any of you are interested in PS2 online gaming or in trying to LAN tunnel Playstation 2 games, check out this site!

Otherwise I am afraid to inform you that this cute little man eating freak of nature will have to take a bite out of your ass.

Damn you google image search. Why must you show me disturbing images every time I use you. I was just searching for an innocent picture of a kitten. Instead I get this thing. Well I was searching for that innocent kitten picture so that I could threaten to fart on it if you did not visit the above website, but still.

Asscramps and Mirror's Edge impressions.

Asscramps

Was looking for a picture from that episode where Homer's ass leaves an indentation in the couch cushion. Couldn't find it, so look at this instead. Also, the new google image layout is freaking horrible. It looks like a crappy photobucket album.

My ass has been cramping up the last few days. I had not been doing anything different really. These uncomfortable nagging aches located in my buttocks were starting to greatly annoy me. After some stellar detective work, I discovered the culprit for my butt pain. The ass cushion on my computer chair is finally starting to get worn enough that when I sit on it my ass sinks through the aging cushion and hits the hard bottom of the chair. This displeases me greatly. This computer chair is only 2 years old. I guess now I must go buy a pillow specifically for placing under my ass when sitting on this chair. A lifetime of lying beneath my ass surely will be a horrible and smelly existence for that poor unfortunate pillow. I often am quite gassy…

If you are ready for some news not related to my ass, please continue on with the blog. If for some strange reason you want to gain a deeper understanding about my ass's daily exploits, please reread the preceding paragraph.

Gaming

I have finally reached the point where I have too many consoles in my room to have them all hooked up at once. My composite switches are full, so when I got the dreamcast it had just been sitting all lonely in a corner of my room unhooked from the tv. I really wanted to play it, so I had to decide on which one of my currently hooked up consoles to disconnect for now. It was a tough decision to make, but my SNES was chosen to be unhooked. I have not been playing it really at all since I am still far from done exploring the NES's gaming library. Plus, I need a controller extension wire for the SNES before I can really play it. Well I could play it without it, but I would have to sit like 2 feet from the tv.

Well I haven't blogged in forever really about what I have been playing. I have been jumping around from a lot of different games this summer. I got readdicted to Demon's Souls for 2 weeks and went from like level 5-60 in that period. I started a new character for my third playthrough of the game. I wanted to focus on magic more this time, so I picked a magician. It sure was nice starting off with a ranged attack. For my first character I started off as a barbarian who was only armed with a club.

Mirror's Edge

I also finally starting playing Mirror's Edge on PS3. I had remembered enjoying the demo a lot for this game so I purchased this game for 12 dollars new off amazon a few months back. I have played this game for several hours so far and I can kind of see why this game is so cheap now. The game is very unique, has a colorful environment, and in certain situations can be very fun to play. However, a lot of the time the problems in this game overtake the positive aspects of it and the game eft me extremely frustrated and disappointed with it.

The gameplay in this game has you basically running fast, jumping across rooftops, sliding down stuff, and combining these types of moves to quickly get to some intended area in the game.

In levels that are designed good the game is a lot of fun, but far too often you are repetively slowly climbing over fences or pipes, or you have really no idea where you are supposed to go. Like, the game highlights small areas red to show you where you need to go. This works well since the environment is mostly white. The problem is that most of the time the object you need to jump on or grab doesn't turn red until you are like 6 inches in front of it…

Another problem I have with this game. The combat is just plain awful. For some reason DICE, the developers, felt that horrible gunplay and melee fighting was needed in this game. Way too often you are having lots of fun jumping and sliding over stuff, but then you run into a pack of 5 guys with machine guns who mow you down in seconds since the fighting controls are so crappy.

Due to all these annoyances, I have taken a break from the game. I knew this game had a lot of problems before I played, so I think I can deal with them and finish the game. I just hope in the sequel that they iron out the numerous annoying problems in the game. I am still shocked that EA published a new creative type of game, so I can understand how things turned out not completely perfect in it.

Errr well, the blog is already starting to get a bit long, so I will end it here. I have been playing too many games lately so this blog could go on forever if I don't stop it now.

Drunkness to kill boredom = rambling blog about boredom survival

IT has been over a month since my last blog. Deal with it.

I am normally not one to partake in the mood altering mind boggling effects of alcoholic beverages, but since I am house sitting for my parents for over a week I needed some cheap entertainment. You see, there is no cable television or decent caliber of internet speed here. I brought few video games with me because I planned to only stay for a mere 3 or 4 days. However, it was requested of me that I stay for nearly 2 weeks, so now I am trapped here with only a very small number of NES games and GC games. Boredom has constantly been on the offensive, trying to destroy my very existence. It nearly had won its nefariously started war, but I managed to trick the sly beast of boredom with an expertly blended amount of cheapness powers.

Here is a list of items needed to follow my now proven winning strategy to combat cruel mind- deflating boredom.

Item 1: Used Dreamcast from a thrift store for 25 bucks.

It came with a fishing controller, a normal controller and all wires. I also picked up a demo disc of several Dreamcast games for 2 bucks. This disc helped me confirm that the Sega Dreamcast indeed did function at the optimal level I expected of such a console. Unfortunately, it also has tormented my soul or whatever you may call a persons inner essence or imaginary sense of being. These brief glimpses of potentially amazing or mediocre games that are momentarily forced into my brain's consideration are such a tease. I cannot help but want to play the complete games to reach an ultimate conclusion on whether each game will deserve to hold a coveted and respected spot in my permanent gaming collection.



Item 2: Megadeth CD "Cryptic Writings"

Which is currently playing on the before mentioned Dreamcast with the additional aid of a 14 inch television set which has finally found a way to make up for its unimpressive screen size. Here is a fun fact that I recently just discovered. Playing CDs on the Dreamcast results in the display of a spinning CD on your television screen. This swiftly revolving virtual representation of a compact disc is split into 2 magical halves of separate yet equally intriguing colors. One is white and one is red. A hole in the middle of a CD is shown as well. This hole in the direct center of the spinning CD, in addition to the two perhaps merely coincidental combination of colors, cannot help but stir up a thought in my mind. This image flaunted before me brings up memories of a Poke Ball. If I was Dale Gribble, I would launch into countless conspiracy theories in a sort of deranged attempt to justify this eerie occurrence. If I truly was Dale Gribble, the potential spreading of the already frighteningly powerful influence of the world of Pokemon would be of immense concern to me. I am not Dale Gribble ,however, so I am left on my own to wonder what this strange visual sign means….

Get the hell away from my newly acquired used Dreamcast you Pokefreaks!!!!!!




Item 3: "5 Hour Energy"

The purpose this aquiring this bottle, which is full of a mixed batch of potential future positive and negative consequences, is to keep me awake after being up for more than 24 hours in my crazy reckless near impossible mission to return my sleep schedule to a normal state of affairs.

Item 4: $3 Vodka!!!!!!!

Really. It cost freaking 3 dollars. I cannot believe this still. It is 3 dollar vodka for 3 dollars! For a mere 300 pennies I have acquired one of the finest and fanciest varieties of Vodka available in this fine United States of America. The name of this brand of vodka, one containing an epic amount of quality formerly unknown to my simple mind, a mind which was in the past and probably in the future still will be an irregular partaker in the realm of gulping down alcoholic beverages, is eloquently stated as " VIP Select Premium Vodka" .Does that packaging look like it's made of glass to you? I hate to inform you but it just isn't. It is created from cheap plastic like that found in a water bottle. The cap is like a twist off 2-liter bottle of soda cap. C-lassy isn't it?

Item 5: Something to drown out the taste of a horrible tasting and previously unwisely praised 3 dollar Vodka. This miracle drink would be called Orange Juice.

I did not notice this in the store but apparently the particular type of orange juice that I acquired contains

"Juicy Rewards". I was for quite a long moment of time terribly confused as to the meaning of this strange trademarked slogan that covered the front of my carton of liquefied oranges. Through expert detective work ( 5 minutes of reading random different parts of the box in a drunken frenzy) I discovered that a mystical code of numbers and letters lived beneath the cap of this purchased box of once solid oranges. Apparently, if you are some sort of crazy hoarder person that collects millions of these things you can in about twenty or thirty years earn enough magical beneath the cap points to acquire some prize. I can only guess the prizes are plastic and made in sweatshops overseas and worth about 30cents. Good job I guess Tropicana…….

Conclusion to the Blog??!?!?!?!?!?

While a normal person would at this point in this blog realize that enough nonsense had already been unleashed onto the poor unlucky readers of this massacre of the whole notion of writing in a decent manner,
you obviously fail to realize that I am an AssHat sometimes. No, I do not mean that my Ass gets chilly and requires a hefty cap for warmth on occasion. Nor do I mean that my head is often adorned with an Ass shaped hat. I mean that I am an AssHat. An AssHat like myself is a person that can be so uttterly ridiculous that merely calling them an Ass does not suffice to convey the magnitude of their treachery. NO! An extra word is desperately needed to be joined to the word Ass. That word is Hat. It shows that I am no mere Ass, but an Ass that needs the word Hat also attached to that already vile word. I am sure that must have cleared up the meaning of the word AssHat for you now. If it is still not clear to you, perhaps it because I am an AssHat and my explanations about my nature cannot be trusted?

So, anyways. Unfortunately for you, my blog shall continue for no valid reason. Deal with this as you see fit. Pull out your hair, punch a wall, throw a barrage of uncooked eggs at those in life who you dislike. I do not care how you react or overact to the news that this already lengthy blog is not coming to a desperately wished for halt. But you must find some way to deal with it, because onward this blog continues to flow….

Welcome to the drunk ramblings of a lazyhobodrunk. Enjoy them or swiftly fly your mindplane into the inescapable airspace of insanity. I was obviously quite drunk when this was written. Soo dont expect that there them fancy grammmmarz. I did do quite a bit of editing just to make it readable though since drunkness means lots of tpos. See how nice I am?

ME: bwag
DG:whut
ME: up on 5 hour energy and 3 dollar vodka
DG:3 dollar vodka
DG:wow ure cheap
DG:lol
DG:soem skoal?
ME: lmao its the cheapest shit ever
ME: cant believe it
ME: its so bad
ME: like the case is plastic
ME: has a twist off cap
ME: like a bottle of soda
ME: lmao
ME: 3 bucks!
DG:lol well yea
ME: wat a deal
DG:thahts what cheap alcohol comes in
ME: mix with orange juice
ME: nasty taste erased
DG:i could never get into that mix
DG:didnt liek it
DG:its better with coke
ME: its basically just to water it down
ME: water works the same lol
DG:lol eww no
ME: i like orange juice normally
ME: so good combo
DG:best combo
DG:rum and coke
DG:if u use the right amount
ME: im so bored here I actually bought some 3 dollar
vodka lmao
DG:u cnt taste any alcohol

ME: want skype

ME: so u can hear me be stupid.

ME: rambled at [Some guy, name changed for anonymity] for awhile before lol
DG:lmao wow
ME: I am not very drunk really, just like 2 or 3 shots
DG:u pussy
ME: I am part irish so doesnt affect me that much
ME: lol
DG:u better take at least 2 more shots
ME: well I had 3 shots earlier
ME: just had 2 more now
DG: Or else whatst he point in drinking cheap liquore
ME: wears off too quickf
ME: forgot that about vodka
ME: last like an hour
DG:lol
DG:tats why u gotta drink a ton really fast
DG:then it lasts, lol
ME: but still like better than beer or something that
gets you really full and feeling like a fat texan gut man
DG:lol well good beer
DG:can get u pretty messed up fast
ME: meh, but it taste like ass, unless u drink slow
with some food
DG:nah its just an aquired taste,plus good beer taste
better than any regular shit.
DG:i have tried many varieties
DG:i know
ME: yeaq i dont drink much beer
ME: so probably just not used to it
ME: like hank
DG:lol
DG:hank only drinks one kind
ME: regular alchohol purchases cost too much anyways
ME: im too cheap for that
DG:he is not cultured
ME: id drink some cool tasty alamaos though
ME: see wat all the arlen folk fuss is about
DG:lol some company needs to make alomo beer
ME: if its good enough for the assistant manager at
strickland propane its sure as heck good enough for me god dangit
DG:lol
ME: lol this vodka is made in usa
ME: see supporting my country
ME: patriotism
ME: and all that shit.
DG:lol
DG:thats how u know it sucks
ME: hopefully I am supporting small town alren folk
DG:the only good alcohol is importer
ME: who make the vodka from rotten potatoes
DG:polish
ME: meh u just say that cus ur part polish
DG:no really
ME: all vodka ive tried taste like ass pretty much
DG:theres a polish vodka
DG:made from potatoes
ME: but I like it cus it gets u drunk squick
ME: without nasty beer full gut feeling
DG:too bad you dont live in the midwest
DG:the store i work at
DG:has their own brand of vodka
DG:and its amazing
ME: lol I think this was a store brand
ME: it has a funny generic name
DG:the kind from jewel is called frost
DG:and theres liek a million flavors of it
ME: I am blasting some megadeth from my dreamcast and
tv
ME: dreamcast already paying off
DG:lol
ME: no dvd player back here
ME: had to improvise
ME: computer has trouble reading dics
ME: ty dreamcast!
ME: winning over my gamer heart already
ME: and the art stuff when music plays looks funny
ME: shows a cd spinning
ME: is red on one half and white on the other
DG:yea
ME: looks like a pokeball
DG:lol
ME: it does
ME: ash ketchup is playing my music
DG:lol
ME: finally is doing something right
ME: Fuck trying to find microsoft word so I can write
a stupid drunk person blog
ME: cant fucking find it ugh
ME: ah nvm
ME: found it
ME: no fucking shortcut on this shit pc
DG:lol
ME: god dammit opened meebo twice and didn't realize
ME: like thought why the fuck did aim close
DG:because ur using windows
ME: god ddammit
ME: been trying to upload some pics to photobucket for
like 20 mins
ME: accidentally opened up a new set of tabs so
photobucket deissapeared it seemed
ME: but it was just hiding in tab set 2
DG: ohrly?
ME: myep
ME: god damn tho
ME: 300 dollar vodka is such a deal
ME: its only half gone
ME: and I am semi pretty drunk right now
ME: 3 bucks!
ME: fuck yea
DG:lol im not that cheap
ME: didnt know u could vodka that cheap until today
DG:how do u think homeless people get drunk?
ME: my stomach will probably catapult from my mouth
soon
ME: but it was worth it for the amazing savings I
aquired
DG:just eat some food
DG:ull be good
ME: yea I been drinking much aqua and comida with las
muchas cheapas vodkas made in americas
ME: wat a fucking amazing idea; though
ME: the usa economy should see a swift rebound
immediately me thinks if the american entrepreneur keeps up this level of ingenuity
ME: 3 dollar vodka! fuckyea
ME: USA! USa! UsA!
DG:lol
ME: well I am on a combo of 5 hour energy, mexican burritos, and vodka right now
ME: so sorry for this
ME: but its fun for me at least
ME: passing the time
ME: got a week left of severe mind shitting on boredeom left

DG:go back and buy a handle of cheap vodka

ME: this week shall live in infamy for its intense unforgivable boredeom

ME: a handle?
ME: wat does that mean
DG:that will keep u busey the rest of the week
DG:a handle=
DG:the big ass containers
DG:because they have handles
ME: is that sly street talk which I do not currently obtain an understanding of
ME: ahhh
ME: I see
ME: well that shit would cost money
ME: 3 dollar vodka is only 3 dollars
DG:if u get cheap shit
ME: so it wins the competition
DG:u could get a handle for like
DG:$15
DG:handles are usually like
ME: meeeeehhhhhhhhhhhh
DG:almost 2 liters
ME: 15 bucks is big spender amounts of cash
ME: I needz a job for that kind of elaborate and insane spending of american currency
DG:pshh
DG:i need to get some liquor
DG:i havnt had any hard stuff in forever
DG:but im rich now
DG:so i need to indulge while i can, lol
ME: cheap price for cheap alchochol for my cheapo self works perfectly enough for me at the moment unless it gives me a not so perfect infection of the unperfect AIDS disease
DG:its still cheap
DG:ure buying in volume
DG:instead of just small amounts
DG:thats why homeless ppl stay homeless

ME: then the deal I gained in the short term would be a lie to cover up the long term suckage of AIDS

DG:they dont realize they could save money by buying alcohol in bigger containers
ME: Well I am not a drunk yet so I dont need 15 bucks of vodka
ME: 15 bucks could buy you lots of other better stuff
ME: like a jetpack
DG:yup
ME: fuck yea, it wouldnt work good tho, but bet u could get one
ME: ud probably die in a horrific gory crash
ME: but it would be a pretty fucking sweet way to go
ME: death by jetpack
ME: see when I get old I will go out by getting on a jetpack naked and flying around pooing on people like a seagull. It would be quite hilarious. Until the airforce knocks me from the stratosphere with a ballistic missile
ME: but fuck them
ME: I will have my fun beforehand
DG:lol
ME: or perhaps I would be an extremely agile old geezer who could at the moment before the balistic missile hits him could use his unprecedented agility to get on top of the missile and ride it, taking advantage of its already in progress expulsion of kinectic energy!
ME: muahahah
ME: then I could rain old man turd from the skies at supersonic speed!
ME: just imagine!
ME: I know Hank Hill would disapprove because poo landing on Arlen's location for propane selling would be covered with a brown layer of unpleasantness, but my dream must be realized before my death
ME: lol
ME: god damn sorry
ME: rambling mess is full of ramblings
DG:its da truf
ME: watever though, I dont care, you spam my eardrums with horrible disney music over skype all the time, so I should not be apologizing for this brilliant stupidness
ME: Fuck yea, megadeath on my dreamcast, then TV sounds pretty bad ass when drunk
ME: Fuck yea
ME: well you dont like metal
ME: so you cant appreciate the awesomeness I am currently experiencing
ME: this little tiny screened tv actually has some deceivingly powerful tiny stereo speakers
ME: its like 14 inches or some shit close to that
ME: dont just a tv by its screen apparently
ME: moral of the story
ME: bwaaaaaaaaaaah
ME: See , I know my defense to your skype rapeage of my ears with horrible music you like for some reason, just drink 3 dollar vodka and my brilliance is too much for you to handle

ME: and you know it
DG:the tv next to my computer
DG:is prolly smaller
ME: I doubt it
ME: this shit is ridiculous
ME: gotta sit right in front of it to play any games
ME: otherwise my eyes bleed salty angry tears of defiance to the unreasonably small portrayal of video gaming images
ME: lets get out a tape measure and measure this shit tv for proof then
DG:i just did
DG:its actually 14 inches
DG:so its a tie
DG:but my tv is mono
DG:so u win
ME: lmao, mine is too, I am an electronic psychic apparently, mine is 14 inches
ME: the sound is pretty good for a 14 inch tube television then though
DG:i dont think uve ever heard good sound
DG:so that means nothing
ME: lol probably some merit to that statement
ME: but ignorance is bliss sometimes
ME: if i was spoiled by ur magical surround sounds I would probably have to rip off my ears from these tiny speakers. However, since I have only have had the pleasure to hear meager speakers throughout my experienecs with the various electronics gizmos available to me currently my mind has not been forever spoiled and corrupted with the sublime amounts of sound quality emitted from more deluxe versions of the electronic gizmos that you have managed to somehow aquire.
DG:cause im magic
ME: lol
ME: untill ur cat pisses all over ur magic boxes of dolby surrond sound and forever ruins them
ME: speaking of pissing, brb
ME: gotta pee
DG:lol
ME: if that was not already obvious
ME: charcoal or propane
ME: pick onw
ME: *now
ME: or be forsaken
DG:propane
DG:duh
ME: a wise choice young laddie
ME: propane is a special gas that treats you fairly when you contain the wisdom to remain loyal to it
DG:lol
ME: but the spirit of rebellion can lead you to seek out the dark side of the barbecue spectrum
ME: the wicked charcoal has stolen the innocence of many a great propane salesman

ME: it is a substance that has repeatedly shown through its treacherous history that it cannot be trsted
ME: Hey
ME: You
ME: guy
ME: I tell you what
DG:what
ME: hows about you agree to let me stick this convo in my blog. You are certainly free to refuse this request as we do live in the noble free democracy of the United States of NOrthern America, however choosing this particular decision would result in me having to initiate a lifelong banning of the selling of propane and propane accessories to you.
ME: A fate that not even the most wretched beings in Arlen Texas would want to be subscribed too when it comes to my humble opinion.
ME: You may be thinking that a switch to charcoal would not be that bad, but I guarantee to you that making this unwise decision inevitably would catch up with you and reek havoc on your intended life course.
DG: oh i know
ME: So what shall your answer be good sire?
ME: Lifelong prosperity with the aid of lady propane at your side?
ME: Or a future of despair and terrible unspeakable possibilities because of a rebellious, stupid in restrospect decision to risk everything with the use of the evil substance of charcoal?
DG:do w/e u want i guess since its just a s/n
ME: Well I can hide your identity with a clever alias if thou wishes.
ME: Simply pick a name or creative word or group of letters to represent your identity.
DG:pick what ever you want
DG:dale gribble
ME: Alrighty then. I tell you what, that will shall be done.
ME: The vodka is starting to finally wear off I think
ME: Still got about half of it left for the rest of this boring week fortunately though.
DG:lol