Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I just turned 21this month. Also, tons of PS2, PS3,and GBA game reviews/impressions.

Wow it has been awhile since my last blog. What can I say; I am a lazyhoboguy after all. Well here is an excessively long blog that will rot your brain and make up for my absence.

I have been getting in a good amount of gaming lately and picked up a few new games with some birthday money I got. I am now 21 and can legally drink. Although, I have no interest really in drinking alcohol anymore so this birthday was not as exciting as it could have been if I was a typical habitual overdrinking loud college student like many of my peers.

Two days after my birthday I decided to buy a 6 pack of Corona just because. It stayed in my fridge about a week before I even touched one. I did not like it much. It has been about 2 weeks since I bought them, yet 4 out of the 6 beers are still sitting in my fridge. I don't really understand why people like beer. It tastes nasty, it makes me feel all full and like a slob after, and they usually upset my stomach. Plus, I am cheap and would rather spend my money on something else. Also, if you drink beer for the purpose of turning into a super drunk person, why not just get some hard liquor and not deal with the super full feeling that beer gives you?

Anyways, back to gaming. I don't want a bunch of angry drunks realizing I trash talked their miracle beverage, so I am shall quickly change the subject.

The games I picked up recently are:



Family Feud

Lumines Plus

Rogue Trooper


Red Faction Guerrilla

I have not touched Amplitude or Rougue Trooper yet, so I don't have much to say about them. I absolutely loved Frequency, which Amplitude is a sequel too, so I am obviously excited to try it.

Also, here is a new animation I was inspired to make after playing one of the following games.

There are NO SPOILERS in the following Reviews/ Game Impressions

Family Feud (PS2)

This Family Feud game is terrible. I expected such, but I did not realize quite how terrible it would turn out. I got it mainly to try its online mode with a friend, but it turned out the online mode is most likely no longer functioning. Two other people and I all get the same error when trying to host an online game of this. In fact, one of these guys called the company to see if the game was officially offline now, and the guy had no idea what was going on with that game. My friend was the first person to ever call the company about it lol.

I wrote a quick review a little while ago about this game.


I tell you what.

The only thing this game has going for it is its family creation system. I had about 10 minutes of amusement making Hank Hill and his family play the game. Here is a video of that


Once the novelty of that wore off, I realized that I can't stand to ever play this game again. That tells you something is really really atrocious, when even the most brilliant salesman of propane and propane accessories cannot save the game.

Lumines Plus (PS2)

This is a puzzle game that originally came out on the PSP. A guy I know had been telling me for months about how fun it was and then recently I heard that this game was created by the Japanese dude who made the game REZ. Finding this out made me very eager to try it so I picked it up off of amazon.

I really like this game. It is a deceivingly simple puzzle game at first glance. You drop squares that are made up of 4 smaller blocks that are mixed up in random combinations of 2 colors. You can flip this big square around and you try to line up 4 small blocks of the same color. When you do that those 4 small blocks disappear. You lose the game when the stacked up blocks reach the top of the screen.

What makes this game innovative is that all the time there is a scrolling horizontal line that goes from left to right. Your groups of 4 same colored blocks will not disappear until this scrolling horizontal line reaches them. You can get lots of combo points by adding more blocks to your group of 4 before that horizontal line reaches the mass of same colored blocks. This makes things interesting because you are always rushing to add more blocks before the line reaches that section so you can get the most points. However, you have to be careful because if you carelessly toss blocks down, you may miss and screw yourself over for the future.

Also, this game has a beautiful visual design and cool music. If you last awhile in the game, the visual theme of the game will shift and so will the music. It is nice because it gives you a cue that tells you when the difficulty is going to ramp up. When you're in the middle of tons of block stacking madness, it's hard to keep track of the level counter at the bottom of the screen, so the changing visual theme helps a lot.

This game is very very addicting. The game keeps track of your high scores, so it compels you to keep replaying the game over and over to beat them.

I had not acquired a new puzzle game in a very long time, but I am happy that this particular game ended up as my newest one.

Red Faction: Guerrilla (PS3)

My PS3 has been getting a lot of use after a few week period of me not touching it and that is because I got this game. I had wanted this game since its launch, but I am a cheapo and could not shell out the cash for it. It finally dropped down to 20 bucks for a new copy on amazon with free shipping and I could not resist.

I have probably put in over 10 hours in this game. I loved the demo of this game when it was released and played that for hours and hours. That is because the destruction engine in this game is simply amazing. Any building or object can be destroyed. Stuff breaks apart differently based on which weapon you use to attack it. You can ram a car through a building. You can cover your car with 10 mines, jump out of the car at the last second before it hits a building, and after its has crashed into the building you can detonate the mines on the car and totally devastate that once proudly constructed structure. The only thing in this game that cannot be destroyed is the ground.

There is not much story to this game. Basically you are part of a guerrilla movement that is challenging the EDF (Earth Defense Force) who are oppressing the miners on Mars. The voice acting is well done in my opinion, but the story just does not have much meat to it and is not fleshed out much. But who needs much of a story when the destruction in this game is so much fun.

This game is a sandbox game. Meaning you can choose to go wherever you want in the game world and do missions and other things whenever you feel like. If you feel like tracking down some EDF soldiers and blowing them up and fighting a small scale war with their respawning forces, you can. The game limits you to sectors of the map until you beat all the missions there and reduce the EDF presence in that area to 0 percent. The map highlights important EDF targets, usually big buildings and military structures that you need to blow up. I really enjoy this part of the game because coming up with a plan of action for taking out a fortified position and successfully implementing it is really fun. Or, you end up having your plan go completely wrong and you have to suddenly improvise and hope you can take out the building and survive the pursuing forces afterwards.

The weapons in this game are very fun to use. Your default weapon is a sledge hammer. Do I really need to explain the awesomness of this? Ok fine I will. It is such a satisfying weapon to use. It can one hit kill enemies. You can bash is buildings with it. A sledge hammer is just fun to use. The other weapons in this game are just as fun. Your other trusty weapon is remote mines. You can originally only place one or 2 at a time, but you can eventually upgrade that ability and currently in the game I can place 10 mines at once before I detonate them all. Mines stick to anything. It is really funny sticking them on the soldiers because they will start running around frantically and will eventually shake them off. Mines are great all around weapons in this game since they easily allow you to destroy enemy vehicles. A few well placed mines can take down massive buildings as well. Other weapons include an assault rifle, and assault rifle with heat seeking bullets, a rocket launcher, shotguns, a gun that disintegrates anything you shoot (people, cars, buildings, etc), and a gun that shoots electricity that can electrocute multiple enemies at once.

So far I am loving this game. It lacks a gripping story, but the destruction engine in this game is the best and most realistic one ever created. Yay for Geo Mod 2.0. I have not even tried the multiplayer yet and it looks really great as well.

No Rules: Get Phat (GBA) I have had this for years, but just recently found it again

Before you read further, watch this video http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zsf7oes2BHA

I have decided to make this video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D7qHUWMGS4c&feature=response_watch ) the first in a series called "Unbelievably Terrible Games" which is up on my youtube account. I do not have too many crappy games like this in my collection anymore, but there are a few hiding in it. Whenever I come across a game that makes my blood boil from its shocking amount of mediocrity or outright blatant suckage, I will post a video of that game and add "Unbelievably Terrible Games:" before the video title.

I created a new playlist ( http://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy#g/c/0E4390477A4A27CA ) where all other "Unbelievably Terrible Games:" videos will be located.

Here is a quote from the instruction manual to help you understand what this game is like.


One Eye Jack's got a kickin' life: Get juiced up with a bowl of Cocoa Soul Puffies, catch a little Snoop Nasty and The Super Homeez on TV, bust some airs with the crew at the skatepark, maybe even mix some phat beats after hours...

But when aliens from Planet Punkazz arrive, Jack's lifestyle takes it in the shorts. The Punkazzes say they're here to "get phat." But the Punkazzes don't want to serve people on a plate. To survive, they have to wack Jack's culture. And Jack don't play dat...."

Ummm yea lmao. Reading the instruction manual is much more entertaining then actually playing the game.

The story in this game revolves around One Eye Jack, who is some mutated freak kid who only has one eye, has white hair, and apparently thinks he is a hardcore gangster. He reminds me of like a little shriveled up Bart Simpson. He rides a skateboard and his weapon throughout the game is a slingshot.

The cut scenes in this game are the only interesting thing about it. They are like a comic book where One Eye Jack talks in gangsta talk about trying to save his precious cereal called "Cocoa Soul Puffies" from the "Punkazz aliens".

I had this game for many years, but forgot I owned it until this week. I remembered the game being frustrating as hell when I was a kid and it played just how I remembered it. The controls in this game are horrendous. You ride a skateboard or snowboard throughout the game and when you move left or right you glide for a bit. So it makes quickly turning directions or platforming needlessly tedious and sometimes near impossible. The developers have tons of sections where you need to make precise jumps on tiny moving platforms. The controls make this very very annoying. Also, you cannot shoot and move at the same time....

Boss battles in this game randomly turn into a mediocre rhythm game where you press the buttons that scroll across the top screen. When you hit a series of the buttons at the right time, you press the A button and the boss loses health. Repeat that about 10 times and the boss dies. You are djing during boss battles and apparently the sound of you scratching is able to kill aliens and make them explode.

Also, the only reason I bought this game as a kid was because it included a free knock off tech deck finger board lol. I think that is the only way this game sold any copies. I believe that fingerboard broke shortly after I bought it too.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Whats up with me? A monkey watches me pee. Also, a Sniper Elite (PS2) Review.

If this Peeping Tom monkey was in Sniper Elite on PS2 I would snipe him between his beady little eyes.


One of my roommates hangs this towel on a rack over the toilet. It has 2 monkeys like this that creepily stare at me while I expel urine into the urine devouring receptacle. These perverted monkeys make me feel uncomfortable. Why are they getting ready to eat a banana in the bathroom? That is unsanitary! What if they lost their balance and dropped their food into the toilet?? It could splash the newly arrived urine in the toilet bowl back at me!! These darn inconsiderate monkeys…. I mean DAMN DIRTY TOILET LOITERING APES!!!!!!!!!

Also, you would think this monkey would be afraid of some pee splashback landing on him. Well considering monkeys do things like this **WARNING VERY DISTURBING I AM NOT JOKING DO NOT CLICK UNLESS YOU WANT TO SEE NASTY STUFF** ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ADiZpOPRzFo ) I guess I should not be so suprised that this monkey is attracted to urine.

So, I am finally almost completely settled into my new place after being here about 2 weeks. I at least have pathways for walking through the room now. I am in the process of trying to get all of my game consoles setup at once. I have a NES, SNES,N64,GC,PS2,and PS3 and I want them all to be setup to TVs or monitors and be plugged into a power outlet so that I can play any of them whenever the mood strikes me. People who saw my room in my video ( http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NpJ3k2NaeAg ) kept telling me it would never happen. Some people on a digitpress.com thread ( http://www.digitpress.com/forum/showthread.php?t=140542 ) told me to sell my collection and switch to emulation to save room. As expected, gaming blasphemy of that kind made me quite perturbed and even more determined to prove these naysayers wrong.

Well, This morning I spent an hour or so thinking of possible console setup scenarios and trying a few out. I am now completely certain I will be able to get all of these consoles hooked up and ready to play. Screw you people who told me I could not do it! A determined gamer geek is a force to be reckoned with and can accomplish unprecedented things!!!!!!

I did not game at all for about a week once school started. That was painful. But, I am happy to inform you people that this depressing state of affairs is no more. I have started replaying Sniper Elite on PS2.

SNIPER ELITE! (No Spoilers, any aspects of the story discussed are in the games intro already)

This is one of my favorite PS2 games and I have played a lot of them. This is one of my favorite World War 2 themed games and I have played far too many games in this often stale and boring genre. Also, This is one of my favorite third person shooters. Yes it is set in a World War 2 setting, but it follows a fictional and interesting story. You play as a special agent guy whose enemy is not the Nazis or any other Axis power. His enemy is The Russians, but, more specifically, the enemies are the Russian secret agent people. They have a plot to get a hold of nuclear material in Germany to make their own Nuclear weapon. So in essence, you are starting to fight in the cold war while World War 2 is still going on. What is cool about this from a gameplay perspective is that in many levels you will encounter dueling German and Russian forces, but you do not need to kill them. They would rather shoot at each other than you. But of course I snipe all those guys for fun anyways muahaha.

Why do I love this game so much? It is just such a unique game. There is no other game that I know of that is purely focused on realistic sniping like this. You can adjust the difficulty/ realisticness of your single player campaign. I play on the rookie level.


,some of you less enlightened gamers may proclaim to yourself in a giggly prepubescent frenzy, but this game is very challenging even on the Rookie difficulty setting. You see, enemies in this game are tough and they are intelligent. If they spot you they will run from you and go hide. Unlike in other games, when they get shot at by a sniper they have the common sense to go take cover. They will even try flanking you if you stay in the same spot too long. They often will sneakily toss a grenade at you if you camp in one spot too long after you are spotted. This makes things very intense and makes enemy encounters play out difficulty almost every time.

As for the realism of sniping, it is really great. On the Rookie Difficulty setting, gravity affects your shots. This means that based on how close or far away your targets are, you have to adjust your aim vertically to compensate. It makes getting sweet headshots on far away targets or from quick shots even more satisfying. Your heart rate also effects how you play on the Rookie difficulty setting. Think real snipers can sprint for 5 minutes then dive to the ground and hold their breath for 30 seconds to stabilize their shot? Well, they can't. If you do lots of running around you see a little heart rate monitor thing act up and if you try holding your breath to stabilize your scoped in view, it won't work until you catch your breath.

On higher difficulty settings, you can add even more variables to the gameplay like wind for example. This means that on top of taking gravity into making consideration when placing shots, you have to adjust your aim to the left or right depending on how hard the wind is blowing in either direction.

You know what else is great about this game? Sniping is fun. It is really fun. Especially when this game lets you compete for high scores on levels. You get more points for lining up 2 or 3 people and hitting them with one shot. You get points for "remote detonations" which means sniping explosives or having somebody trigger a tripwire explosive you set. You get points for headshots. Even cooler is that this game compares your scores with other players online.

Even though this game is about sniping, you can use other weapons. You have various machine guns and grenades/explosives to use. However, relying on these weapons will get you killed very quickly since they are so loud and the enemy is just as proficient as or better than you at using them. So, the game forces you to be a good sniper, meaning that you are encouraged to try to engage enemies from far away and take them out without others noticing when you can. You can use a pistol to sneak up on enemies and get silent kills on them too though.

This game also has the coolest headshots out of any game ever. When you happen to land a headshot, as soon as you hit the trigger the camera switches over to a view that follows the bullet from the instant it leaves your rifle. It follows the bullet until it makes contact with an enemy's unfortunate skull. It will also do this cool zoom in camera effect if you hit multiple people with one bullet or hit moving targets.

I have probably played this game for over 50 hours total in the few years I have had it. Every like 6 months I start replaying the campaign and get addicted to it again haha. This game even has offline split screen co-op which I imagine must be awesome, since one player could draw out and spot the enemy while the other snipes those enemies. This game also has online multiplayer.

I played 2 or 3 matches of this in the last week. I had a blast. This is one of the most tense and most satisfying online multiplayer games that is still playable on PS2. The enemy artificial intelligence in the game was pretty great, but human intelligence is even more challenging to go up against. It makes your victories that much more satisfying and your defeats become even more devastating.

Me loves me some sniping. Pick up this game people! This is a gem! If you like stealth/third person shooters/AWESOME SNIPING get this game. You will not regret it. If you only play Run and Gun shooters then this game may not be your cup of tea, but I think that if you give it a chance you can come to love it as well. This game is a bit pricey for a PS2 game. A used complete copy will run you around 30 something bucks at the cheapest. It is worth it though, believe me, but make sure you get the game with the manual. It helps explain sniping tactics and aiming strategies which help you get better at the game quite a bit.

If you plan to get into the online aspect of this game, check out this forum (http://sniperelite.hqforums.com/ ) If you ever want to play this game online with me. Just Private message me. I will cry buckets of manly tears when this game's online servers are inevitably shut down. Until that time though, I will snipe as many people in the face as I can hehe.

my youtube channel