and of course
There Will Be Poo! Maybe There Will Be Blood! too, depending on what was eaten.
Also. For those of you who are going to start complaining about this Daniel Day-Lewis illustration, I shall give you the backstory so it will make more sense to you. He ate a lot of beans. The opening stages of his bowel movement contained lots of explosive gaseous emissions. Those powerful blasts of poo gas ripped a hole straight through his pants. Consequently, solid poo logs had the escape hatch needed to jump easily into the environment.
Unfortunately I fell asleep before I could add more to this list while in my tired random rant capable state. I spent 34 hours awake and slept for 12 hours after that. I am sure that was super duper great for my body!
Some things I hate.
1. Cheap Scratchy Public Restroom Buttwipes. Ow.
2. Bathroom stalls with no coat hanger on the door. WHERE THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PUT MY STUFF?? When I have a backpack, a wet umbrella, and a coat I need a freaking hook. I don't want to have to put my umbrella down on the feces covered floor and later have my umbrella drip fecal matter on me when I use it to block the rain. WTF am I supposed to do with my backpack?? The only solution when there is no coat hanger is to find the least damp looking section of the floor and rest my backpack down on that spot, making sure the smallest amount of surface area of the backpack is making contact with that vile surface. For my coat, I have to fold it over the top of the stall. What if some hobo yanks it down and steals it while I am on the crapper? It is not like I can chase after him!!! There is also the risk of someone's fart in the room causing a draft which blows my coat off its perch into the a filthy chunk filled toilet bowl.
I consider myself a connoisseur of crapping, so I know what I am talking about. If any of you reading this have a business or own a turdcake receptacle room building company, spend the mother fucking dollar per stall it costs to put in a hook !!!!!!!!! JESUS TAPDANCING CHRIST! (quoted from southpark, I love it)
3. People who when riding the bus do not move to the back. Every day I see these dunces standing at the front of the bus staring at you while you are crammed into position next to them. You look behind them and see the whole back of the bus has free standing room. How hard is to walk backwards a few steps? Do these people like standing in the front blocking the walkway so they can brush up against all the old elderly bus riders who smell like moth balls? Perhaps these people refuse to walk to the back of the bus have a bunch of moths living in their bodies' crevices and wish to massacre these moths with old people smell? Hopefully this is the reason. Because otherwise, they are just turdberry eating, crap nuggety, manure breath people that are somehow continuing to survive even with brains full of super yellow dehydratey urine!