Should I bother to keep blogging here?

I have really just been using this blog to backup my blogs from my gamespot profile since that is where I originally started blogging. I have stopped moving them over here for the past few months though because it didn't seem worth the effort really.

I don't think really anyone reads my blog here? I never see comments on them. Maybe you all are just shy? lol. I seem to have followers somehow though haha. If you think it's worth the effort for me to continue posting my blogs here let me know.

It's time for me to admit that I am an addict...

That's right. I have an addiction. I have been struggling with this for years. I first became obsessed with this stimulant as a child. All it took was one try and then I was hooked for life. This would be a tragic tale if my addiction were something really bad. Luckily I am just addicted to the Civilization series.

My Addiction: From Its Birth to Its Present Condition

I think I played my first Civilization game when I was like 10 years old. I tried it at my uncle's house and really enjoyed it. A little while later I got Civilization 2 (PC) for Christmas I believe. A few year later I got Civilization 3. A couple weeks ago I got Civilization Revolution on DS.Civilization 2 and 3 are some of the most replayable games ever made. I have probably played each for like 100s of hours. The game map and neighboring civilizations you encounter spawn randomly every game. The game never plays the same way twice.

They are turn-based strategy games where you control and grow your civilization from their primitive state to a modern age where you can toss nukes at your neighbors.You build citiies, roads, irrigation, and mines. You can engage in diplomacy with your neighbore and make peace treaties and alliances. You can of course build tons of different types of military units to conquer the world which is full of jerkface asshatical computer-controlled neighbors. Or you can try to win the game by other means like cultural domination or being the first to reach the moon. The amount of stuff you can do in these games is mind boggling.

These 2 games are also super addictive. If you intend to play for 30 minutes, you will glance up at the clock a bit later and notice 3 hours have passed and you still won't want to stop playing lol. A game of civilization 3 typically takes me abou 20 hours to complete. After I finish a game of Civilization 3 I don't want to play it for a little bit. If I wait a few weeks and start a game again it's just as addicting and feels as fresh as before. Not many games can do that. I have been playing a game of Civilization 3 every month or so for probably at least 5 years. Before that I played Civilization 2 as much or more (since I had more free time).

This week my addiction worsened. I played my copy of Civilization Revolution on DS for the first time.

Hearing about this game being released on a handheld video game system made me crap myself with glee when I first heard about it. Knowing that Civilization Revolution DS was waiting for me was one of the main reasons why I spent 130 bucks on a DS Lite this past winter. Finally this month I bought a copy of the game for around 15 bucks and played it for the first time this week.

Did I like it? Well the first time I turned it on I played it for 3 hours straight. That night I played it for a few mor hours. That morning I played it for 2 hours. The cycle continued all week.

This is a great portable strategy game. It is still turn-based like its PC brothers, but it has been simplified a bit. I was a tad worried it would feel to basic after the more complex PC versions, but was happy to discover there was no such problem. Everything that makes Civilization great is still in the DS version. The game is still very deep and has lots of ways for you to play the game. You can win by military force, cultural achievements, and by a space race (technological achievements) just like the PC games. Most of the stuff from the PC versions is still in this game, but things work a bit differently. For example in this game roads are built in the ciy management screen where you can buy roads to connect specific cities to each other. It means connecting your cities with roads is less of a hassle than on Civ 2 and 3. There are tons more examples of stuff like this where mechanics from the PC games are altered a bit to be more streamlined for the portable version.Also, The controls in this game work surpisingly well. You can decide to use the stylus a lot or a little based on your preference. I like using the dpad and buttons most of the time though. The game feels different enough from the PC versions that it doesn't feel like a half-assed copy of the computer versions. You can tell a lot of thought went into this portable version to make it a unique Civilization experience.

This game is just as addicting as Civilization 2 and 3. Each game seems to take about 5 or 6 hours in Civilization Revolution. That is a lot shorter than Civilization 3's 20 hour games and you would think it would be better for my addiction since 6 hours is much smaller an amount of time than 20. You thought wrong though. When I finish a 20 hour Civilization 3 game I want to take a break for awhile before I start a new one. After playing with tanks, bombers and nukes for the last hours of the game it feels too annoying to go back to warriors, archers, and legions for awhile. However, since Civilzation Revolution's games only last 6 hours that feeling of needing a break from the game never happens for me. Once I finish a game, a few hours later I have no problem starting a brand new game and getting addicted.

The game also has online multiplayer. I tried finding players for it, but had no luck. I don't care too much though since I never buy these games for the multiplayer.

My addiction to this portable Civilization game has had a positive effect though. It has actually helped me fix my sleep schedule lol. I have a problem normally of waking up multiple times and going back to sleep and then sleeping for far too long. Since I got this game though when I wake up I'd rather play my DS and this game than go back to sleep lol. So thank you Sid Meier for fixing my sleep schedule.

I realize that I will never escape my Civilization addiction. It's time for me to get some help. Or maybe I should get Civilization Revolution on PS3...

When it comes to replayability, Timesplitters: Future Perfect is perfect.

I originally wrote this for my blog on Destructoid.com. They asked us to blog about a game that we found extremely replayable, a game that kept us coming back to it a crapload of times.

Hmm. When I first heard the Monthly Musing topic a few games I routinely play over and over again flashed through my gamer mind. Civilization 3 (PC), Worms Armageddon (PC), Rez (PS2), Sniper Elite (PS2), Demon's Souls (PS3), and many other games I replay a ton were considered for this blog by the lazyhoboguy who is currently writing it. I realized though that one game I own is the king, the queen, and the undisputed top monkey of replayability. The game of which I speak is:



Halo… No, jk it's Timesplitters: Future Perfect.



Why do I love this game so much? Why have I played this game for: 4 days 14 hours 8 mins 27 secs? Well, actually I have played it for about 3 days longer that. My first profile got corrupted when I stupidly shut down my game on a saving screen. I was actually sort of happy I had to start over since I liked the game so much lol. But I am getting distracted. I need to get my ass and its short attention span back on track. Why the hell do I have such a boner for this game you want to know?

Some Funny Fucks Made This Game

Well, unlike Halo, Call of Duty, Ghost Recon, and all the other serious shooters out there Timesplitters: Future Perfect has a great sense of humor and never takes itself seriously. It still has great First Person Shooter gameplay with all the violence, beheadings, and blood spraying everywhere you could want, but It manages to make you crack up while doing so.



For example: The game has monkeys! Lots of them. You can shoot monkeys in the game a lot. There is a ninja monkey. There is a robot monkey. There is a zombie monkey. You get to shoot them, in the face even, if you are feeling particularly cruel. If you still are not interested in this game then you have no soul. That halo monkey image above was made by the developers themselves to tease Timesplitters 4. But oh man don't get me started on that since it looks like it will never be coming out now *Weeps in Corner*.

The game also has like 100 characters to choose from for multiplayer. They each have a unique phrase they will say when you pick them. They each have a little backstory you can read in the main menu too. There are zombies, a snowman, a duck, a dinosaur, a grizzly bear, a giant sock puppet, a handful of demented clowns, a gingerbread man, various robots, and tons of other crazy characters to choose from.

Another reason I have a hard on for this game is that the game's color palette isn't completely brown and grey. The developers of Timesplitters: Future Perfect had this nutty idea to actually make their levels and characters colorful. So many shooters like to make all their levels look like someone just smeared shit all over everything and blocked out all color. Not Timesplitters. Although a shit joke wouldn't be out of place in the Timesplitters series lol.

One more reason I am stimulated by Timesplitters : Future Perfect. The game runs really smoothly. As in, the frame rate is constantly steady and animations look awesome for this reason. The game doesn't turn into a slideshow when the action on screen picks up like so many other shooters.

Another thing about this game that makes my body all excite (Regie + Borat joke if you are confused) is the fact that this game has creative and fun to use weapons. There are machines guns, pistols, and shotguns of course, but there are also tons of less generic weapons. There is a flare gun which shoots a flare. Shocking right, but it spirals out of the gun unpredictably and is hard to hit people with, but if you do it's a one hit kill. You can also duel yield these. They are sort of like the games rocket launcher and are incredibly fun to use. Another neat weapon in the game is called the injector. If you shoot someone enough with it your opponent will start swelling up and their body will expand before your eyes until their gooey innards explode out through them and blood splatters all over the walls and ceiling. The nasty gory explosion can kill you if you stand in it too lol. Oh yea you can also just grab a brick and throw it at someone's face, or you can pick up a baseball bat and just start wailing on people. It is soooo satisfying.

I haven't even really talked about the singleplayer or multiplayer yet. There is just too much awesomely awesome awesomeness to talk about when it comes to Timesplitters: Future Perfect ! Well the single player is humorous and fun and it has you jumping through tons of different time periods, hence the name of the game. This is great for the gameplay because it means you are constantly tossed into radically different environments, using completely different weapons, and fighting totally different enemies. The single player campaign can also be played with split screen co-op. The single player is quite fun, but it is not the highlight of the game.

Sexy Multiplayer Is Sexy

Now for the multiplayer. Oh how I love this game's multiplayer. It is like Goldeneye 007/Perfect Dark and modern shooters had a super awesome cool baby that likes beating the crap out of monkeys.


Deal with it monkeys.

The Timesplitters series is known for its great multiplayer and it's worth buying Timesplitters: Future Perfect for it alone. The multiplayer is super fast paced. Your character moves fast, you instantly respawn and are back in the action. There is no silly irritating 15 second respawn timer to punish you for dying. You immediately are returned into the game and are free to seek out revenge on the jerk who previously terminated your video game life.

The multiplayer is great too because it is insanely customizable. You can make your own weapon sets. You can put in powerups. You can turn on character abilities if you like so each character has special qualities. The multiplayer has tons of game modes as well. Deathmatch is the most fun in my opinon, but they have many more to choose from. Some of the more creative ones are Shrink, Virus, and Monkey Assistant. In shrink your actual character size is determined by how well you are currently doing. If you are in first place your character is full size. If you are in last place you are a teeny tiny midget that is very hard to hit. It is pretty funny. In Virus one person starts off infected and tries to just touch other people to infect them too. The last person in the game who isn't infected wins. It is pretty terrifying when a horde of infected foes is running at you. Monkey Assistant is sort of like Shrink in that it aids struggling players. In this mode though it lets the person in last place gain an entourage of violent homicidal monkeys who lash out any one who dares to come near their new buddy.

The game also had an online mode. Which I heard was amazing. Unfortunately this game was published by the evil company Electronic Arts who like to pull down online servers for games after 2 days.



The servers were shutdown in 2007, just 2 years after the game came out. Luckily, the game also has bots for offline and split screen multiplayer and they are very customizable as well. I have spent many hours just playing against the bots. All hope for playing the game online was not lost once Electronic Asshats (EA) shut down the game's online servers though, since Free Radical included a LAN mode. Through free LAN tunneling programs like Xlink Kai which you run on your PC, you can still play this game online. I do so about once a week with other people from: http://www.ps2onlinegaming.com

Other Awesomeness Found In The Game

Errrmm, so what I am forgetting. Oh yea, is multiplayer not your thing? Well included in the game are tons of challenges and an arcade league mode. If you are into game types where you try to best your high score, you will love this. You get rewarded with trophies which unlock new characters, cheats, and other goodies for you by doing this. That is just icing on the fucking awesome cake since these modes are ridiculously fun by themselves. You can race cats for example. You can fight a never ending horde of undead monkeys. You can break all the plates and windows in a Chinese restaurant. They pretty much came up with everything.

ARGGGGGGGGGGGGG. This blog is getting soo long. I can't help it though. There is too much about this game that's awesome and the gospel of Timesplitting must be preached to you gamers! Here is a nice relaxing picture of a to give you a break from my blog.



Don't Give Me That Look! I Didn't Make That Image!

Alright Bert, calm the fuck down. No need to slaughter me and feast on my brain like you did to Ernie last night. I will get back to Timesplitters talk.

Ok, So before Bert unleashes his puppet rage at me I will talk about the Mapmaker in Timesplitters: Future Perfect. It is a little awesome thing in the game that lets you design your own multiplayer maps. You can also create your own story levels. Like, you can create your own freaking game basically. The tools allowed in this Mapmaker are somewhat basic, but you can create really crazy cool stuff with it. People like this level creator so much that they are still messing around with it and coming up with new cool junk with it. A forum is setup for advocates of this feature of the game. Go here if you are interested in learning how to get the most out of the Mapmaker feature of the game and want to try out other people's creations: http://s7.zetaboards.com/Rec_Room/forum/9680/

I have made a few multiplayer maps and story levels myself. If my whoring out of them didn't make you disgusted you can check them out here: http://www.youtube.com/user/Lazyhoboguy#g/c/E3655BA31343C558

I am sure I am still leaving out some stuff about how ridiculously amazing and replayable this game is, but this blog has to come to end sometime and that time is now. I may have posted this in an old blog before but I cannot remember. Anyways, I shall leave you with this video of me turning a monkey into a terrorist in Timesplitters: Future Perfect. Enjoy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ALLaknDeOYk

TLDR Version



Buy Timesplitters: Future Perfect and play it or Bert is going to find you, kill you, and feast on the tasty brains inside your skull. Then he is going to have a blood orgy with his sick Sesame Street pals. You don't want that to happen do you? Well, play the game then god dammit.

My Gaming Backlog

I just updated my game collection list for the first time in months. I am nearing 100 ps2 games yay!

http://lazyhoboguy.webs.com/

For the first time I ever I decided to go through my games and list my backlog.

Here are games I own but have never even played once. I did not include games I started for a level and never went back too, so really this backlog could be 2 times as big if I included that. It is bad enough that I own this many games that I have never even really touched once. Some of these games are new purchases in the last few months, but many have been sitting in my collection for years.

My Shameful Backlog. These poor forgotten games...

Genesis (Do Not Own System Yet)
Dragon Ball Z

Dreamcast
Virtua Tennis

Game Boy
Kirby's Pinball Land

GBA
Iridion II

Nintendo Entertainment System
Bases Loaded 2: Second Season
Captain Skyhawk
Dragon Warrior
Ghost 'n Goblins
John Elway's Quarterback
Legends of the Diamond
Super Spike V'Ball
SUper Sprint
The Blues Brothers
The Legend of Zelda
Top Player Tennis
Zelda II: The Adventure of LInk

SNES
Chuck Rock
Desert STrike
NBA Hang Time
Super Mario Kart
Super Mario World
T2: The Arcade Game
Tecom Super Bowl
TNN Bass Tournament of Champions

N64
Mario Golf
Pokemon Snap
Star Fox 64
Star Wars Episode 1: Racer

Gamecube
Lugi's Mansion
Star Wars: Rogue Leader

PS2
Alien Hominid
Ape Escape 3
Brothers in Arms Road to Hill 30
Crash 'N' Burn
Crash Tag Team Racing
Dead to Rights
Deus Ex: The Conspiracy
Half-Life
Intellivision Lives!
Jak 3
Manhunt 2
Max Payne
Metal Gear Solid: The Essential Collection (MGS2 and MGS3)
NASCAR Thunder 2004
Onimusha 2: Samurai's Destiny
Psi-Ops The Mindgate Conspiracy
Rogue Trooper
Second Sight
Shinobi
Sky Odyssey
SOCOM: U.S. Navy Seals: Combined Assault
SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom
SSX
Tenchu: Wrath of Heaven
The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie
Tom Clancy's Rainbow Six: Lockdown
Tony Hawk's Pro Skater 4
Twisted Metal Black
Viewtiful Joe 2

PS3
Tekken 6

Xbox 1
Farcry Instincts Evolution
Mechassault
Oddworld: Munch's Oddysee
Pocket Bike Racer
The Chronicles of Riddick: Escape From Butcher Bay

Some Other News

I havent written a blog about my gaming shenanigans in awhile and I have played too many games to write in depth about them all. So, I will just briefly mention some of the games and stuff I have played.

Bought a new handheld gaming system

You guys are going to be so jealous!!! I just bought Nintendo's new cutting edge handheld system!!! No not the 3ds you silly farts, I got a DS lite finally with Mario Kart DS. I think the DS came out in 2004 right? Meh I am only 7 years behind with handhelds. I plan to get a 3DS in 2018 then haha.

I am really enjoying Mario Kart DS. It ads in the drifting and drifting boosts from Mario Kart: Double Dash on Gamecube and it still managed to control very well. The online mode is kind of cool too, but I wish you could race with more than 4 people online. Having Mario Kart on a handheld is really awesome.

Although I should say that I ran into something I really really hate in Mario Kart DS. In the balloon battle you start with one baloon and have to blow into your microphone to inflate your other 2 balloons. WTF. NO. I am not blowing spit over my new $130 piece of electronics like an idiotic assnut. I refuse. You can hold down the select button instead of blowing into the microphone like a mental patient, but it works slower. They actually put you at a disadvanage in that mode for not wanting to spray your saliva all over your DS...

Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus Completed and Sly 2 started (Playstation 2)

Played through Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus recently and I had an absolute blast playing this game. I had not played a 3d platformer in awhile and it was quite fun to do so again. The game had great level designs and threw in stealth gameplay to change things up.

I started up Sly 2 very recently and I am a bit dissapointed with it. It is still fun, but it feels completely different than Sly Cooper 1. They threw in some open world aspects into the game that sorta bug me. Also the game feels like more of an action game and stealth game than a platformer. Seems like 60 percent of your missions now revolve around pick pocketing people or following people.

Oh and fuck you Sucker Punch for having no option to turn off the inverted camera controls. I mean just CMON. I hate it when developers force you to use either inverted or noninverted controls. How hard is it to include the option to switch the inversion? I heard the Sly Collection on the PS3 fixes this issue, so I think I will stop playing SLy 2 on PS2 and wait to continue the game on the Sly PS3 collection.

Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (PS3)

Dammit. I bought a downloadable game a couple months ago. I felt dirty after doing so. However, I could not resist buying the game for 9.99 after playing the demo. The game is just simply amazing. I put in a ton of hours into this game already. I don't see myself ever getting tired of it. I really hope they release this on a disc though, so I can have a REAL not digital copy lol.