My Last 2 Weeks= Puking, Pooping, Pure Hatred for GAMESTOP, and some new games.

Warning: This blog contains graphic talk about turd. Skip over this first section if you are afraid of natural bodily functions.

START OF TURD TALK

So, a lot of interesting stuff has happened since my last blog a couple weeks ago. I went back to my parents' house for 2 days during spring break to visit them. Upon my arrival, we went out to eat at restaurant called Black Angus. It is chain steak house restaurant. I had eaten there many times before so I was not alarmed by the fact that the name of the restaurant would mean "Black Anus" with the subtraction of only one letter G. I did not notice anything significantly wrong while eating the food that this Angus restaurant managed to squeeze out onto my plate. I did not feel sick for the few hours I was awake when I first got to my parents house. All of a sudden at 3am when I was trying to sleep though my stomach starting feeling like an angry midget was inside of it and was thrashing around in a drug fueled rage. I ran to the bathroom and had the most unpleasant type of bowel movement imaginable. The D word,. Diarrhea, aehrraiD backwards. I hoped the unpleasant feelings in my stomach would fade away after suffering through a most atrocious experience on the toilet, but I was very wrong. Every 20 minutes for the next 5 or 6 hours I had to run to the bathroom for countless sequels to the prior explosive diarrhea event.

I finally managed to fall asleep somehow for a few minutes after one of the many diarrhea attacks. But there was one climatic bathroom trip still lurking in the future. I woke up feeling even worse than before. My stomach was going crazy. I barely could make it to the bathroom before that damn diarrhea demanded to be freed. What was even worse…. while sitting on the can I felt a new feeling in my stomach…. a feeling that something was rising in it. I realized quickly that I was going to have puke. I was still sitting on the toilet dealing with the first expulsion of bodily waste. WHAT TO DO! Well there was a small trash can near me so I grabbed it and puked my guts out for 5 minutes straight. I eventually cleaned up and got out of that wretched traumatizing bathroom and slowly made my way to other end of the house and then collapsed on a couch where I slept for a day straight and woke up at 10pm.

I will not be eating out for a very very very very very long time.

END OF RECTAL RHETORIC

GAMESTOP……………………………………………………..

So, I could not resist the lure of the most immoral business in the known universe. Perhaps there is an even worse gaming establishment in existence in the butthole of the universe somewhere, but for now LAMESTOP takes the prize for being the most purely evil video game store in the cosmos. I foolishly went back into one of these sickening manifestations of corporate greed. I should have learned from the many times this chain of game defiling stores has screwed me over, but I was an idiot. I bought 3 games from this wretched buttmerchant. I bought Valkyria Chronicles on PS3 for 20 dollars new and got a sealed copy. I got Midnight Club 2 on PS2 for like 6 dollars used. The final game I got was Sly Cooper and the Thievius Raccoonus. "Those are not too bad prices" you might say. "What are you bitching about" you may think smugly to yourself. Well, 2 days later while checking my bank account I discovered that Gamestop I had given my money had decided to be idiotic puke monkeys and double charged my debit card for my purchase. So, today I went back to the store to get this stupid mistake of theirs fixed. Of course they had no clue how to help and could not even find the 2nd charge in the system. They gave me the number for the corporation itself to call because they could do nothing further to fix their mistake. I went home and fearfully dialed the 1800 number of death. I was calling the evil gaming empire itself. Merely filing a complaint to them might result in them sending one of their adolescent HALO3/CODMW2 fanboy assassins after me. But I bravely finished dialing the number. I am a cheap ass, as you must already know, so I could not stand to lose $32.71 because of Gamestop's ineptitude.

While on hold waiting for a customer service representative of the evil empire to converse with me, Mario and Zelda music began to leap from my cell phone into my ear. Those sly asshatical executives at gamestop, they must think that playing gamer music would calm my fury. No, I would not be tricked by this tainted offering of gaming music.

I finally started talking to a guy and he was surprisingly cheerful and told many unfunny and horribly cheesy jokes in an attempt to make me less perturbed at his employer. The phone connection was very bad and every like 3 seconds his voice would cut out momentarily. He informed me that this was a common problem with their phones. I assumed it must be so that his superiors would have the time needed to stealthily whip the call center's employees, masking their screams with the brief moments the phone lines cut out. No wonder this guy was so strongly upbeat on the phone, any small mistake and his masters probably would devour his flesh to feed their monstrous appetites. Yes Gamestop's upper management consists of monsters, ghouls, demons, and Dick Cheney- like beings.

Dealing with the ever present threat of violence from his masters, the poor Gamestop call center slave worked pretty efficiently and told me he would contact my bank to clear up the double charge. After I made this call, I checked my bank account again and noticed that actually the double charge had been refunded randomly a day or so before. I guess someone at Lamestop realized their mistake or something and tried to fix it, but since I was not notified at all I still ended up wasting an hour or so going back to that Gamestop and calling the oppressive corporation itself.

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok fine, I know I cannot resist the buy 2 get 1 free deals on used ps2 games they have 2 times a year. So…. Besides these rare sales,

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

I MAKE A VOW. NEVER AGAIN SHALL I GIVE GAMESTOP MY BUSINESS. THIS IS THE LAST STRAW!!!!!!!!!!!

From now on I will just buy my gaming crap online or make the long trip to the slightly overpriced independent games store at the other end of the city I live in. Every other time I give Gamestop business they do something to enrage me or completely make me lose faith in gamerkind.

What an odd picture from google images.

It is like a crackhead going to a drug dealer that randomly deals out uncalled for forceful kicks to his customer's testicles. Yet, this customer is so addicted to the product of the merchant that he soon forgets about his swollen nuts and returns to that same cruel merchant for more potential abuse. I shall no longer be like that crackhead.

I was going to talk about the 10 hours or so of Valkyria Chronicles I had played too, but I have already gone on for far too long. I will wait for the next blog to do that.